Forever in Blue Jeans

I long for the days of dresses and skirts. Our elderly ancestors really had something there. The hiding of the  "masses" that many of us acquire when we submit to propagating our species. The thick thigh, the round tush,  the donut that appears around our midriff as if by magic-police. (Had to put cop and donut together somehow.)The dresses of olden day would hang in such a way you looked feminine. The jeans….not so much. Now, stick girls have no idea what I am saying so you may be excused. The more "rounded" chickies, stay with me. Have you ever gone in and found a pair of jeans that just look huge and then realize it is 3 sizes smaller then what you are? (I am NOT saying this has happened to me…………..silence.) Either they enhance our tummies, expand our thighs, or just look like a fluffy girl trying not to look fluffy. The cute pleated skirts with little cardies always seem to make even the fluffy girls look nice in all the oldie but goodie movies. But we are in a society where jeans serve as a second skin. So, alas, I am relegated to finding the perfect pair of jeans. Not too tight, not too loose, not too long, not too short, not on the hip but not on the waist, and definitely NOT like my mothers. (Sorry mom but you are older then me.) That song "Forever in blues jeans" makes me want to banish Neil Diamond forever and a day. But maybe he knows more then me. After all he has something like a "million"  record hits…..just let's hope he never sees me in jeans, he may just decide to take it back. Go and Do.