Lost Little One

Today has not been a good day. Oh, for me it has been very good day. I cooked the oatmeal for Sam and Maya as Liv ran around getting ready for her day as her alarm clock didn't go off. Maddie, overcome with a headache and a fever, succumbed to our urgings of staying home half day. I made her some peppermint tea with a dollop of honey.  I ran to the store to get lunch "stuff" as I am out after I had done carpool. I ran into a friend and chatted for a few minutes. I went to the bank to pull out my last $20.oo. I found a score on mascara which I was completely out. (One dollar that was all!) Fine day. Okay day. Good day. Then I came home to find out someone I know lost their littlie today. Lucas was a miracle baby. He had heart problems but was seemingly getting through. But then today he decided he was tired, I guess. His little, tiny body just didn't need to "do it" anymore. His mommy and daddy will miss him for the remainder of their years. They will visit his little tombstone for as many years as they are able and remember him every birthday with a wistful thought of how old he would be that very day. They will cherish the few photos that they have of him knowing that is all that is left of him physically. Their memory of his little smile will stay frozen in time. I am in charge of the the "Family Dinner" that is held after the funeral. I strive to think if I had lost my little one, what would give me comfort after submerging that tiny coffin into the ground while celebrating my son's return to his Heavenly Father? My tears fall unashamedly as my heartaches for that little family. It tugs at the miscarriage I had and I realize that mommies love start at the first words "your pregnant." And it remains there until it is their time to greet our Father in Heaven. So , alas, I am grateful for the 5 carpools I have today, the lack of groceries in which I have to make a meal for 6 people, but I am especially grateful for the bowls full of left over oatmeal. Because it means we are here. We are together. We live. I am in gratitude. Go an Do.