Nice Matters…...

I was at work and a sales rep, who I adore, called. She is from back East and has the attitude of "Cake Boss". Snappy. Bottom line. But heart of gold. She called one day and said to me "You guys are so G#@) Da$#@m nice". I am from the West. And in my particular neck of the woods, we are not snappy, we are "nice". We are (if your raised here, I am not) raised on home made casseroles, jello, ice-cream and pro-sac. You don't say mean things to people faces, you just complain behind their backs to your friend. (smile) 

You would never confront someone, you would just go home and eat green jello with shredded pro sac on top to ease the pain of non confronting. (Or in my case, an energy drink.) We try to get the best deals we can and once offered, we ask for a better one. But we are nice about it. We allow a wickedly mean neighbor, who does things covertly so you cannot directly accuse, access to our homes and children because we want to be "nice" about it. We try to get everyone to "get" along without censorship, because we want to be "nice."

But that isn't the nice I mean when I say "Because Nice Matters." Nice doesn't mean "peace" at all cost. The above mentioned paragraph is not really "nice" …..that word should be replaced with "peace". The above situations are not nice they are people not wanting to face conflict they want peace. Peace definition contains words such as non-warring, treaty, freedom from commotion. Nice definition contains pleasant, kind, amiable. It isn't "nice" to take someones emotional/mental/etc garbage and smile at them and then go diminish their reputation by speaking to others. Being nice means to GENUINELY be kind. To set boundaries but in way that doesn't create more drama or commotion then needed. It means to speak directly of our feelings to others but speak in a way that isn't mean spirited. I have seen this in young girls. (Teens) They want to maybe end a relationship but do not want to hurt the boys' feelings. And they vacillate on if they should not break up with said stud because they want to be "nice". That is RI DIC U LUS! We can be nice and truthful at the same time. It is okay to say to someone that "your being un-nice and I will speak to you later." or "I am sorry but I feel we should break up and I am so appreciative of all the things you have been to me." Or "I am sorry but you are not a kind person so we need some distance from you." All okay to say. We need boundaries. But here in my woods, people think that they are responsible for "others". If I am not friends with them then what will they do? If I ask them to speak kinder what will they do? I need to be nice to them even though they have trashed my family. No. Nice is peace. Nice isn't a word for avoiding confrontation. Nice is a state of being. Go and be nice.