Rule #2 Because I Am Your Mother…..
Because I am your mother…is the phrase I grew up on. “But why maaaa?” I would whine. My mother set a very good example of being just that, my mother. She was never out to win “Mother of the Year” or “Momma Popular”. She just wanted to be our mother. She didn’t dress hip to fit in with my crowd. She didn’t let things slide “just this once”. She didn’t back down on groundings and I was oft woken up at midnight to finish a job that were half completed by myself earlier that day. I got in trouble for sassing and was expected at all family events regardless of what my agenda looked liked. I was expected to do chores to help the family unit. I was told what was expected of me and then guided to do those things in a timely manner that was my mom’s timeline NOT mine. Mom took me to plays and mamma lunches. She took me out of school one day and we spent the day at Disneyland. My mom was someone I could tell anything too and I knew she would give me good advice. I trusted that she knew what she was doing and therefore I trusted her guidance. No, mom wasn’t my friend by any stretch. She was a friendly mama but she was not a “friend”. That was what my school mates where for. I had a lot of friends but I only had one mum.
So rule #2: Be a friendly mom NOT A MOM-FRIEND!
I love my children so very much. But I never want them to wonder about my strength due to my inability to follow through in some major ways a mum is suppose too. I am not as good as my mother but I try. The children see me through my actions. If I wobble on the important things then they learn that I am not trustworthy as I am not strong. They want me to be there as their mum. They want my strength to lean on as they grow into their own beings.
One time I grounded a child from a very “important” outing. They gnashed their teeth and screamed bloody murder and ranted that I was probably one of the worst mothers around. (I always thank them when they would say that in their younger years, it meant I was doing a bang up job!) Then once the drama was acted out they came to me to thank me. “Mom, thanks for grounding me because I really needed to be home anyway. I don’t want you to use this against me but when you do things like that I know you really care. Now forget I said that!”
Go and be your child’s mom. He/she has enough friends. Go ye and do!
So rule #2: Be a friendly mom NOT A MOM-FRIEND!
I love my children so very much. But I never want them to wonder about my strength due to my inability to follow through in some major ways a mum is suppose too. I am not as good as my mother but I try. The children see me through my actions. If I wobble on the important things then they learn that I am not trustworthy as I am not strong. They want me to be there as their mum. They want my strength to lean on as they grow into their own beings.
One time I grounded a child from a very “important” outing. They gnashed their teeth and screamed bloody murder and ranted that I was probably one of the worst mothers around. (I always thank them when they would say that in their younger years, it meant I was doing a bang up job!) Then once the drama was acted out they came to me to thank me. “Mom, thanks for grounding me because I really needed to be home anyway. I don’t want you to use this against me but when you do things like that I know you really care. Now forget I said that!”
Go and be your child’s mom. He/she has enough friends. Go ye and do!
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