So, We Are Back Again...
So we are back again, visiting the old quandary of family/close friends mistreating each other and how to deal with it. My two cent philosophy is that there are peace makers (Oh good Lord you know who you are!) and then there are takers. (Yes, we know who we are as well.) The issue that arises is when the peace makers are putting forth all the effort in this so-called “partnership” and the takers aren’t doing anything but bringing chaos and feelings of inadequacies and doing what they do best….taking. But what I want to address today is when the takers take but do not give at all.
I have a few friends that have struggled with what to do with the “takers” in their lives. One has a ma-in-law that refuses to be happy with her sweet daughter-in-law unless the said daughter does EXACTLY what mum wants. And even when said daughter does what mum wants, mum still finds fault.
I heard of one prego sister who was told to sleep on the floor of the camper because no one wanted to give up space on a bed during a family camp out!
One gal has a sibling who is, what I call, a Heroine-Ho who berates this poor gal and attempts at bringing this poor girl down to the ground. Talk about a pot calling a kettle black.
But the sad thing is, peace makers, you don’t want to see the bad. That is a good thing when appropriate. But not good when it is justifying others actions that are bad. I hear the whines now….”BUT they are my family”, “He is a really good guy YOU JUST don’t understand him”, “she is on drugs true and has messed everyone out of money BUUUUTTT she is my sister”. Whine whine whine with that cheese.
(Exception to the rule: when the person is indeed good and actions are showing improvements, I said actions not words, then yea go ahead and support and love.)
Now listen sisters, it takes two to Tango! Your gettin’ something from this unhealthy relationship and it isn’t just crapola. You get to be the “Saint” or you get to be the “Victim” or be “long suffering” or you get to be the better half of the “best friends”. We humans do not do anything for nothing. You stay in these relationships for a purpose. You just have to wipe off the cloudy mirror and see what it is your getting for it. Because between me and you….YOU ARE getting something for putting up with things you never would with anyone else! So fess up, what is it?
Don’t lie because, let me be frank (or judy or whoever) EVERYBODY knows your lying to yourself! Everyone around you. They are just too polite to say it. When you say “You just don’t understand” they do. They see you are getting something fed…your ego? Your pride? They know you are lying to yourself and them.
Check the mirror and see why you put up with stuff that is wrong and inappropriate. You will find that you are getting something more by staying then leaving.
Go and do….a little soul searching!
I have a few friends that have struggled with what to do with the “takers” in their lives. One has a ma-in-law that refuses to be happy with her sweet daughter-in-law unless the said daughter does EXACTLY what mum wants. And even when said daughter does what mum wants, mum still finds fault.
I heard of one prego sister who was told to sleep on the floor of the camper because no one wanted to give up space on a bed during a family camp out!
One gal has a sibling who is, what I call, a Heroine-Ho who berates this poor gal and attempts at bringing this poor girl down to the ground. Talk about a pot calling a kettle black.
But the sad thing is, peace makers, you don’t want to see the bad. That is a good thing when appropriate. But not good when it is justifying others actions that are bad. I hear the whines now….”BUT they are my family”, “He is a really good guy YOU JUST don’t understand him”, “she is on drugs true and has messed everyone out of money BUUUUTTT she is my sister”. Whine whine whine with that cheese.
(Exception to the rule: when the person is indeed good and actions are showing improvements, I said actions not words, then yea go ahead and support and love.)
Now listen sisters, it takes two to Tango! Your gettin’ something from this unhealthy relationship and it isn’t just crapola. You get to be the “Saint” or you get to be the “Victim” or be “long suffering” or you get to be the better half of the “best friends”. We humans do not do anything for nothing. You stay in these relationships for a purpose. You just have to wipe off the cloudy mirror and see what it is your getting for it. Because between me and you….YOU ARE getting something for putting up with things you never would with anyone else! So fess up, what is it?
Don’t lie because, let me be frank (or judy or whoever) EVERYBODY knows your lying to yourself! Everyone around you. They are just too polite to say it. When you say “You just don’t understand” they do. They see you are getting something fed…your ego? Your pride? They know you are lying to yourself and them.
Check the mirror and see why you put up with stuff that is wrong and inappropriate. You will find that you are getting something more by staying then leaving.
Go and do….a little soul searching!
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