So I thought….
So I thought…what would I say if I had a child, say, move out of state or actually grow up? What advice could I give? My thoughts ran……and ran….first why would a child leave my home? What could a spouse offer that I don’t offer already? But then I thought that statistically I will probably lose a child or two or four to spouses! So here I go in random order:
1. Always wear cute pj’s in case of fire, medical emergency, or wayward neighbors coming by at an ungodly hour.
2. Always take out the metal racks in the oven before you clean or the silver will burn off.
3. Knives go upside down in the dishwasher unless there is someone with a huge insurance policy that you can cash in….JK!
4. Never let your girls wear tank tops as it is super cute before puberty but just plain wrong after.
5. Always wear mascara and eye liner as it give the appearance that you actually a. got sleep b. care what you look like c. distracts from the plaid sweatpants that have seen better days.
6. Always have little gifts on hand for the “incases”. You never know when your mother, i.e. me, will show up and announce that it is my birthday and SURELY you haven’t forgotten the day of birth of the woman who gave up her hips, thighs, healthy teeth and small feet just for you! Yes a perfume of “Ellen Tracey” will do just fine.
7. Always remember your spouse comes first but you tell mama everything!
8. Remember that everyone has issues about their childhood…get over it…cowgirl up and decide to judge me on the first 8 months of your life….I was a steller madre then!
9. You know your old when only dark real expensive chocolate will do….embrace it! (And keep the freezer full of truffles.) It makes for a happy life.
10. In the words of the famous Prof. Dumbledore, “There comes a time when you have to choose what is right or what is easy.” (If at all possible try easy…..well yes just as long as it is right! smile.)
11. Own an apron as it is motherly and will keep your dry cleaning cost down.
12. Pepper your home with color, decor, and love. Always remember a consistently messy home is a reflection of a messy life.
13. Always keep feminine products and toilet paper within easy reach of the toilet. Believe me it will save you some embarrassement….no we don’t have to go into detail.
14. Remember Vinegar is your best friend. Spray it in the shower after every use, dump in the rinse cycle of the dishwasher, soak dingy silverware in it. Or just spray it at the neighbors calico cat that pees on your lawn furniture and leaves special packages on your front lawn.
15. Get the wedding ring you love. It establishes your style and when you are rocking those babies wondering what the hi-dee hoo you got yourself into….one look at that ring and you will want to stay another day!
16. Have a vacuum on every floor…saves the back and encourages vacuuming more often. Also makes a great shirt holder or hallway ornament.
17. Never answer your front door without checking to see who it is. It might be your mother on her birthday.
18. Make plans but always include your mama cause she gave up her thighs, hips, and feet.
19. Above all make sure you know that you cannot be anyone else…you are you…and you are so wonderful to me just the way you are. I love you my children.
go and do.
1. Always wear cute pj’s in case of fire, medical emergency, or wayward neighbors coming by at an ungodly hour.
2. Always take out the metal racks in the oven before you clean or the silver will burn off.
3. Knives go upside down in the dishwasher unless there is someone with a huge insurance policy that you can cash in….JK!
4. Never let your girls wear tank tops as it is super cute before puberty but just plain wrong after.
5. Always wear mascara and eye liner as it give the appearance that you actually a. got sleep b. care what you look like c. distracts from the plaid sweatpants that have seen better days.
6. Always have little gifts on hand for the “incases”. You never know when your mother, i.e. me, will show up and announce that it is my birthday and SURELY you haven’t forgotten the day of birth of the woman who gave up her hips, thighs, healthy teeth and small feet just for you! Yes a perfume of “Ellen Tracey” will do just fine.
7. Always remember your spouse comes first but you tell mama everything!
8. Remember that everyone has issues about their childhood…get over it…cowgirl up and decide to judge me on the first 8 months of your life….I was a steller madre then!
9. You know your old when only dark real expensive chocolate will do….embrace it! (And keep the freezer full of truffles.) It makes for a happy life.
10. In the words of the famous Prof. Dumbledore, “There comes a time when you have to choose what is right or what is easy.” (If at all possible try easy…..well yes just as long as it is right! smile.)
11. Own an apron as it is motherly and will keep your dry cleaning cost down.
12. Pepper your home with color, decor, and love. Always remember a consistently messy home is a reflection of a messy life.
13. Always keep feminine products and toilet paper within easy reach of the toilet. Believe me it will save you some embarrassement….no we don’t have to go into detail.
14. Remember Vinegar is your best friend. Spray it in the shower after every use, dump in the rinse cycle of the dishwasher, soak dingy silverware in it. Or just spray it at the neighbors calico cat that pees on your lawn furniture and leaves special packages on your front lawn.
15. Get the wedding ring you love. It establishes your style and when you are rocking those babies wondering what the hi-dee hoo you got yourself into….one look at that ring and you will want to stay another day!
16. Have a vacuum on every floor…saves the back and encourages vacuuming more often. Also makes a great shirt holder or hallway ornament.
17. Never answer your front door without checking to see who it is. It might be your mother on her birthday.
18. Make plans but always include your mama cause she gave up her thighs, hips, and feet.
19. Above all make sure you know that you cannot be anyone else…you are you…and you are so wonderful to me just the way you are. I love you my children.
go and do.
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