Jumping Joe!
jumping joe! Do you ever wish you could just jump out of "who" you are and get crazy and fun? I do. I was speaking to my gal pal and was saying if I could "pen" a blog without my name what possibilities would await? Yes, there is a devil side to me. (Yes, offspring, you always knew it was there!) But I would so write about crazy neighbors, arrogant men, and skinny girls who claim to be fat! (Don't you just sit there with your mouth agape?)
What would you say if you had a day that you could say anything to anyone? Of course not mean spirited but truthful. Ah, to be able to tell that person without oral hygiene that their breath is burning off needed nose hair and that they have nothing THAT important that I need to hear!
Wouldn't it be so great to just tell your mother in law that "I am who I am and listen sister, this is the best your gonna get."
I ponder what it would be like to tell that rude gent who didn't open the door for you at the grocery store "WHO raised you, livestock?"
How would it be to tell your children that "I gave you the best years of my life, get so over yourself!"
Ah, if I could wear a big buffy hairdo and a fake tat, and tell that gal with the leggings covering her size 29 legs that even I at size fluffy shouldn't even think about material with the word stretch in it!
I would tell the school attendance gal that it is none of her darn business why my child was missing from school and to please mind her own beeswax.
I would tell our Presidento Obutto that he is screwing our country and there is a special place in the underworld for him and all who voted for him. (Okay not all who voted for him...that is going a little far.)
I might tell my religious leaders that I am taking a day off from Sainthood! That I am enforcing the "Don't ask, don't tell policy."
I might go so far as to tell the boy who was "almost the one" that he missed out BIG time.
I may opt to tell the clan that dinner chow is optional to those who want to cook. Potty words are said in outdoor voices and plunging necklines revealing saggy wrinkle breast line are worn in public without second thoughts. "Kiss" would be blaring on every iPod, iPad, Computer without shame.
Ah, just a day. A day to be that devil that lives inside. But then when the day came to a close......I would have to apologize to my mum-in-law and children, I would have to write a note telling the large gal that anything with spandex is just fine as it does breathe. I would have to do 10 hail Marys for my don't ask because everyone has already told! I would realize the boy who was "almost" married a rich model and really didn't miss out on much. I would have to wash out my Navy mouth with soap and apologize to the neighbors. And I would realize that the gent I scolded by being raised by pigs is now the one I am interviewing with for a job. Obutta. Well I wouldn't change a thing.
So instead of donning a wig and fake ink, I will just remain me. River. Sweet River. I will do more for the children and try to please the mother in law. I will scold for the use of "crap" and "shut up" and will give excuses to the man who slammed the door on me at the Piggly Wiggly. I will make dinner even though I am not hungry and listen to "oldies but goodies" on the radio. I will call the school and endure their judgement as to why the daughter has been late 3 days in a row. I will indulge the skinny girl with "ah your so skinny why do you think your fat?"
Okay, maybe I will keep a little tattoo for a day or so before I wash it off. I cannot be a good girl ALL the time!
Go and do.
What would you say if you had a day that you could say anything to anyone? Of course not mean spirited but truthful. Ah, to be able to tell that person without oral hygiene that their breath is burning off needed nose hair and that they have nothing THAT important that I need to hear!
Wouldn't it be so great to just tell your mother in law that "I am who I am and listen sister, this is the best your gonna get."
I ponder what it would be like to tell that rude gent who didn't open the door for you at the grocery store "WHO raised you, livestock?"
How would it be to tell your children that "I gave you the best years of my life, get so over yourself!"
Ah, if I could wear a big buffy hairdo and a fake tat, and tell that gal with the leggings covering her size 29 legs that even I at size fluffy shouldn't even think about material with the word stretch in it!
I would tell the school attendance gal that it is none of her darn business why my child was missing from school and to please mind her own beeswax.
I would tell our Presidento Obutto that he is screwing our country and there is a special place in the underworld for him and all who voted for him. (Okay not all who voted for him...that is going a little far.)
I might tell my religious leaders that I am taking a day off from Sainthood! That I am enforcing the "Don't ask, don't tell policy."
I might go so far as to tell the boy who was "almost the one" that he missed out BIG time.
I may opt to tell the clan that dinner chow is optional to those who want to cook. Potty words are said in outdoor voices and plunging necklines revealing saggy wrinkle breast line are worn in public without second thoughts. "Kiss" would be blaring on every iPod, iPad, Computer without shame.
Ah, just a day. A day to be that devil that lives inside. But then when the day came to a close......I would have to apologize to my mum-in-law and children, I would have to write a note telling the large gal that anything with spandex is just fine as it does breathe. I would have to do 10 hail Marys for my don't ask because everyone has already told! I would realize the boy who was "almost" married a rich model and really didn't miss out on much. I would have to wash out my Navy mouth with soap and apologize to the neighbors. And I would realize that the gent I scolded by being raised by pigs is now the one I am interviewing with for a job. Obutta. Well I wouldn't change a thing.
So instead of donning a wig and fake ink, I will just remain me. River. Sweet River. I will do more for the children and try to please the mother in law. I will scold for the use of "crap" and "shut up" and will give excuses to the man who slammed the door on me at the Piggly Wiggly. I will make dinner even though I am not hungry and listen to "oldies but goodies" on the radio. I will call the school and endure their judgement as to why the daughter has been late 3 days in a row. I will indulge the skinny girl with "ah your so skinny why do you think your fat?"
Okay, maybe I will keep a little tattoo for a day or so before I wash it off. I cannot be a good girl ALL the time!
Go and do.
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