Get Jiggy and Then Serve Up .....
Let's get jiggly and serve up some universal truth. Digressing for a moment....I have been bound by writing on positive things in the blog in hopes to share some goodness and not to offend anyone. But I have found that my writing is better if I share a deeper me. So now here we are and I have had my millionth call from a friend working to please her sister-in-laws. That is a daunting task. I can only imagine the "gang" mentality that goes on in that family. Hey, listen, I have been the "sister-in-law." I know that when my brother who's closest in age decided to tie the knot, it threw me off a tad. Come on now, I was the one wearing a watch with two faces, one our time and one England time. (Where he was residing for two years.) I always knew if he was sleeping or awake and the very few calls I got to make were something like eating a banana split with extra everything. So I get the whole "he was my brother before he married you, tramp." (I just added the tramp thing for a chuckle....sometimes that how we feel our sis-in-laws really feel about us. AND NO I wasn't saying that about my sis in laws!) And the poor boy that is caught in the cross fire. What the hey-d-hoo is he suppose to do? Cross mother and the gangland sisters or his wife? He usually chooses his wife because he is pretty sure she is in it for the long hall and sometime he , falsely thinks, that he can make up for it in some future universe. But the sisters, he would just rather please them then be a bulls eye in their rifle scope. But gals, let us get real. If peeps only love us if we are "doing" what "they" want us to do or be, then how important are you to them? Food for the proverbial thought. If we please, bend, give up, blur boundaries then the relationships we have are now "OUR" problem not theirs. Our power is in putting boundaries down. Sometimes that leads to broken fences that will never be mended. Sometimes it is a fence that won't be fixed for a while but it will be fixed. And sometimes if the "In-law" gods are with us, it strengthens.
I had a friend surmise that she wants to always do good. Yepo, there is that phrase "I just want to be good." I replied that good is when you set your boundaries that are fair and attainable and then you give love when given. So, cannot be a witchy witch and then have the old folks (sister, what ev) come over for a peace talk and you be a rude-a-begger. You have to give love and acceptance when you can.
I was able to hear a story in which a gal bought a off-Broadway "show" tickets (spendy) for her hubby as a surprise. The "gang" was going to buy him a ticket to come home for a visit in which the wife was happy to let him go and she stay home to work. The wifey set her boundaries, any time is good except this date and this is the exact amount that they can afford. So what do the gangland sisters do? They call wife at 1o:30 at night as the couple are in bed and hub is right next to her (remember this is a surprise, both adventures) and say they booked the dates for his kooble home and it fell exactly on the date she asked them not too. And it cost more then what wife said they could afford when boundaries were set. Powerless for a moment. Wife took her power back. She announced both surprises to her Knight in Shining Armor and said he had a choice of what to attend. And then she clearly explained that they booked his flight the same day as the "wife surprise" and that it was more then she said she could spend. She was clear with him what the dealio was so that she was now in power. He chose the flight home in which the wife was fine with as she took a friend to the "Les Miserable". Now years later, Prince Charming always comments on missing that play. Wife wasn't hurt but the one that was hurt was the boy stuck in the middle. So gals, get your power. You cannot protect a grown man. If he is old enough to procreate with you then he is old enough to stand up to his mama. And if he can't then you set your boundaries (IN A CHRISTIAN WAY!) and allow him to be man or mouse with his "ladies". You cannot change him, you can only change you. And if you feel belittled,judged, disrespected, or generally ignored then if you are woman enough to have children you are woman enough to stand up to those family members who disrespect your boundaries. Do gals and you will eventually find peace.
I told my friend who is ready to stand up and be heard that they will fight against her because she is bucking the system that has been in place for years. But now it is time for a "New Sheriff in Town."
Go and do....I got your back!
I had a friend surmise that she wants to always do good. Yepo, there is that phrase "I just want to be good." I replied that good is when you set your boundaries that are fair and attainable and then you give love when given. So, cannot be a witchy witch and then have the old folks (sister, what ev) come over for a peace talk and you be a rude-a-begger. You have to give love and acceptance when you can.
I was able to hear a story in which a gal bought a off-Broadway "show" tickets (spendy) for her hubby as a surprise. The "gang" was going to buy him a ticket to come home for a visit in which the wife was happy to let him go and she stay home to work. The wifey set her boundaries, any time is good except this date and this is the exact amount that they can afford. So what do the gangland sisters do? They call wife at 1o:30 at night as the couple are in bed and hub is right next to her (remember this is a surprise, both adventures) and say they booked the dates for his kooble home and it fell exactly on the date she asked them not too. And it cost more then what wife said they could afford when boundaries were set. Powerless for a moment. Wife took her power back. She announced both surprises to her Knight in Shining Armor and said he had a choice of what to attend. And then she clearly explained that they booked his flight the same day as the "wife surprise" and that it was more then she said she could spend. She was clear with him what the dealio was so that she was now in power. He chose the flight home in which the wife was fine with as she took a friend to the "Les Miserable". Now years later, Prince Charming always comments on missing that play. Wife wasn't hurt but the one that was hurt was the boy stuck in the middle. So gals, get your power. You cannot protect a grown man. If he is old enough to procreate with you then he is old enough to stand up to his mama. And if he can't then you set your boundaries (IN A CHRISTIAN WAY!) and allow him to be man or mouse with his "ladies". You cannot change him, you can only change you. And if you feel belittled,judged, disrespected, or generally ignored then if you are woman enough to have children you are woman enough to stand up to those family members who disrespect your boundaries. Do gals and you will eventually find peace.
I told my friend who is ready to stand up and be heard that they will fight against her because she is bucking the system that has been in place for years. But now it is time for a "New Sheriff in Town."
Go and do....I got your back!
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