My’s Maturation….
My’s Maturation….Program was held this week. You know the “miracle of womanhood” all fifth graders are exposed too. Did I mention “along with their mothers”? Thank the heavens it was my last one to attend barring any grandchild who may or may not want their “granny” along with them. So I walk in as the cotton-head middle ager who is thanking the G ods for being on this “side” of life. I noticed the bag of “Kotex pads” and donuts. Um. The overhead projector was on and ready to explore the wonderful things that occur to a someone lucky enough to be born a female. As I sit down I notice the “uniform” that is where I live. There are the bedazzled butt jeans with the chunky necklaces and high heals. There were enough “french nails” to choke well…a frenchman. The gals were all twittering about being silly as many were here with their “eldest” child and didn’t really know what to do. The girls all came in searching for their mamas. Mine found me and with pink cheeks already, nuzzled under my arm. Her freckles standing out due to the constant blush. So we learned about ovaries and tubes and follicle growth. If I don’t know it by now, I am in trouble. And with two older sisters, if the young one doesn’t have an inkling then she is in trouble. I just figured that is why you have older (daughters) sisters…..”Go ask your sister she will tell you.”
So I am conversing with my newest greatest friend in the halls of church about the “experience” and she quoted that she got paper mache cutouts of animals to show her the way into womanhood. The mind reeled with visions of a mother up all night forming her paper mache cutouts of animals as she wiped the sweat off her forehead and left behind droppings of glue stuck into her eyebrows. Then excitedly waking her young girl and going over it replete with a breakfast of eggs. Then my friend said, “No no it was a book of pop ups of paper mache animals.”
I pretty much just got a book of explanation that seemed to burn my eyes every time I attempted to open it and a box of VERY LARGE pads with instructions to place somewhere I didn’t even want to think about. Seriously, I was smaller then the pads so you can imagine the humiliation I endured………don’t imagine….not worth the visual.
So my girl “My” was so excited to have a panty liner that upon her arrival at home, the pad came out and was displayed as if it was a Silver Medal. Oh, girl, if she only knew what is new and exciting now will become the bane of her existence sooner then she will want.
But atlas that is the circle of life. Has I start the down hill tread of saying my ado’s to “Aunt Flo” my youngest is just waiting to greet her. I don’t envy her at all and am appreciative of my journey.
So raise your glass to the lovely Maturation Program…..think of it as saving mamas from explaining it themselves. And a whole lot of paper mache!
Go and do………and have a donut!
So I am conversing with my newest greatest friend in the halls of church about the “experience” and she quoted that she got paper mache cutouts of animals to show her the way into womanhood. The mind reeled with visions of a mother up all night forming her paper mache cutouts of animals as she wiped the sweat off her forehead and left behind droppings of glue stuck into her eyebrows. Then excitedly waking her young girl and going over it replete with a breakfast of eggs. Then my friend said, “No no it was a book of pop ups of paper mache animals.”
I pretty much just got a book of explanation that seemed to burn my eyes every time I attempted to open it and a box of VERY LARGE pads with instructions to place somewhere I didn’t even want to think about. Seriously, I was smaller then the pads so you can imagine the humiliation I endured………don’t imagine….not worth the visual.
So my girl “My” was so excited to have a panty liner that upon her arrival at home, the pad came out and was displayed as if it was a Silver Medal. Oh, girl, if she only knew what is new and exciting now will become the bane of her existence sooner then she will want.
But atlas that is the circle of life. Has I start the down hill tread of saying my ado’s to “Aunt Flo” my youngest is just waiting to greet her. I don’t envy her at all and am appreciative of my journey.
So raise your glass to the lovely Maturation Program…..think of it as saving mamas from explaining it themselves. And a whole lot of paper mache!
Go and do………and have a donut!
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