I am strong but I am tired....

I am strong but I am tired....That was a post on facebook. I immediately knew this was my mantra. It's true. I was at my house of worship last or yesterday. I was in a class teaching about parenthood and the responsibility to raise children in a world that seems to be heading toward the toilet. I made a point that mothers have to not be the children's friend but needs to be a very good listener and must be there for them when they are ready to speak. I also said mothers need to be strong and that I see the younger mama's not wanting to be the strong parent but the child's companion. I show the younger mums gristle with contempt for me, hey, what do I know after 22 years of child raising???? Any who, one of the mum's shared thinking that she was doing a good thing but it accented my point. She shared that they have, as good parents, realized that their language isn't as concise and appropriate as they want their children to hear. So they set up a hand slap (gentle) for anytime a bad word is said. Mummy said shut up and little boy slapped her hand and chided her for it. The point, for mum, was that yes we are setting a good example. The point, for me, is your allowing your younin' to be in control of you and punish you.  I would have set up it differently. The little swat would be for the littlie but if I said a bad word I would say thank you for the reminder and your right it is a word we cannot use. I personally, use words on my teens that if they ever used on me, would lead to immediate death or at least loss of phone, bed, friends, etc. IT isn't that I should be saying sailor words and it isn't that I should be allowed to say things that I would consider uncontrolled words. BUT I do pay the mortgage and (well me and Prince Charming) feed and clothe and run errands and provide water and soap and heat and bedding and and and and,,,,,,,,And sometimes the pressure of that has to bubble up into a naughty word or go ballistic, it is a choice I have to make and the bleep word seems to relieve pressure. Now if my teen son who stands taller then I and is definitely stronger, was raised to believe that he has a place to correct me.....well that isn't a great scenario.

I will share.

I am not proud but will share for all of you who can relate.

My tall boy who is so sweet and tender that sometimes we forget he is 17.5 and think on him as 14. He stays in the background and apologizes for things and says he loves you even in front of friends....did I share this already? Cannot remember if I did with you or others.....But the boy has a habit of having a great week of fun and grousing when a job is presented. We were in the drive way cleaning cars. My littlest was working hard as were we for the past few hours as junior prince was slumbering. He groused as he walked out to work with us. I lost it. Said words that I had to apologize for later. Dang. Went ballistic. After a few bleep words I glanced around and realized ever y family on my street was out. I thought they have to judge me but they will get there one day. So imagine my junior prince, standing taller then me and being taught he could reprimand me.  It doesn't work. be the Lioness of your home. You WILL MAKE many mistakes but that doesn't put you on the same level as your children. Stop trying to be equal to them, if that were true they would be paying you rent.

I had another little moment with junior. And I had him write out a column of all the things we give to him. Then fill out a column of all the things we do for him. And then a column of what we expect from him. (That by the way was a VERY short list. Do jobs, work hard at school, go to church, join family community.) He could see the list that was so long it spilled onto another page of what we give and do for him. So next time you want to be equal with your kidlet, fill out all you do for them and what they do for you. You will soon see swatting you on the hand to reprimand you isn't in the plan, unless he is paying your mortgage that is.

Go and do and be strong!