Fit Con for Fat People
Fit Con for Fat People...as I mentions before, I was invited to see my 2nd in command work her magic at Fit Con. Let us review what FIT con means. It means no ounce of cellulite in the whole convention center except the "Mary Kay Make Up" booth, free t shirts that run up to an extra small for the gals and extra body builder large for the dudes. There are tans to accent the curves that have been meticulously worked on at the local gym and apparently every nail salon in the surrounding areas had been utilized. Blonds, real or not, were in abundance and the testosterone could run a small country. The food booths, I use that word loosely, were made up of dried celery with some tofu salt on them and I swear that, if a fire broke out, one of those dudes (OR GIRLS) could pick me up like a Popsicle and save my fluffy body. There were obstacle courses and body competitions and water bottles galore. Spandex as far as the eye could see along with glove fit body bulges below sight line. It was an amazing sight to behold! The uniformity of a group unrelated, not the contour of body parts.
I was so happy to be there but so out of place, I came up with my own brilliant idea. FAT CON! We should host a Fat Con for anyone over size 6!!!! (I think no ONE was over that size, thus the 6!)
We would all be wearing the uniform of elastic stretch pants. We would have chipped fingernail polish and every booth would be made up of delicate chocolates and 'must' see movies. We would flaunt our cellulite with pride and have story telling booths as to how we became NOT a size 2. Death, divorce, children, depression, real life. I would tattoo my muffin top (fat that sits above the jean line) with each child's name. Now that is a convention booth. We would see tan lines not complete, just the back of the leg were one fell asleep in the back yard while gardening. Haggard eye lids that haven't slept in days due to assisting everyone in their lives and not paying attention to herself! Booths that cater to the movie-watching-chocolate-stress-eating-saving-the-world type of gal. Now that is a Con I could really get into!
I am NOT dowsing the fit! Don't take it wrong. It is just that there is a place for FAT CON and I want to be head FatCon Queen!!
Go and do!
I was so happy to be there but so out of place, I came up with my own brilliant idea. FAT CON! We should host a Fat Con for anyone over size 6!!!! (I think no ONE was over that size, thus the 6!)
We would all be wearing the uniform of elastic stretch pants. We would have chipped fingernail polish and every booth would be made up of delicate chocolates and 'must' see movies. We would flaunt our cellulite with pride and have story telling booths as to how we became NOT a size 2. Death, divorce, children, depression, real life. I would tattoo my muffin top (fat that sits above the jean line) with each child's name. Now that is a convention booth. We would see tan lines not complete, just the back of the leg were one fell asleep in the back yard while gardening. Haggard eye lids that haven't slept in days due to assisting everyone in their lives and not paying attention to herself! Booths that cater to the movie-watching-chocolate-stress-eating-saving-the-world type of gal. Now that is a Con I could really get into!
I am NOT dowsing the fit! Don't take it wrong. It is just that there is a place for FAT CON and I want to be head FatCon Queen!!
Go and do!
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