My Littlies....

 My Littlies are now grownies. The days of knowing their exact locality are long gone. Knowing their minutia of the day are tucked away in the past. Doing loads of laundry and folding their day-to-day clothing and knowing which item belonged to which child is a chore taken off my list. Taking care of cuts and splinters and headaches and body aches are now left up to them to handle on their own. My days of "mama" are gone in the sense of the world was just "us" is now splintered. 

My grownies and I reconnect often. Some daily, some a little less. It occurs to me, after thinking of their "real world" problems that they share with me and Prince Charming, that they probably never think that I have endured the similar trials they now face. My reactions to their woes are almost always instantly very "Mama Bear". Then I ruminate on their "share" and realize those days are gone. They need solid advice to navigate adulthood, not mama but mom to help.

 I consider that they do not see me as someone who had to walk away from relationships I didn't want to. I had slights from friends I considered sisters. There has been gossip that included me as the sole topic.  I have been left out of gatherings I wanted to be included in. I have had family members that I loved and idolize reject me by letting me know I wasn't enough for them to have me in their life. I have disappointments and unmet expectations. I have had to swallow snide responses that would have made me feel good at the moment but not in the long run. I have had to change and recreate to serve others that may or may not be deserving of my efforts. I have had to serve kindness when anger was justified. I know their sorrows and have seen or endured them in one way or another. It is a mad, mad world and no one escapes.

I have learned many things because of the past hurts and sorrows.

1. Not everyone loves the way you do and if they don't accept your love, then you must move on with love in your heart and sadness for the rejected gift you tried to give..

2. If true sorrow, everyone deserves repentance. 

3. Forgiveness doesn't mean it is for the offender. It is a gift for yourself. Forgiveness doesn't mean the person gets to keep a place in your life.

4. Love is a powerful gift given to us but we often look at it as something mundane and expected. Don't.

5. Life is glorious. Someone always always always has it worse. 

6. Things are a distraction in life. What are the real joys, write them down, read the list every day.

7. Know that whether you need Mama or Mom, I am here.

IT is a mad mad world. But we have each other. At the end of the day......Go and do.