Sex before Marriage

 Sex before marriage....okay, so if you don't want to walk this journey today then let's hook up tomorrow. But I have to put it down on paper as proof of what I have taught my Grownies. 

Backpedal. A child, which is not uncommon with grown-up kidlets, accused me (harsh word but really let us say remembered wrong) about a conservative view they grew up with. Our traditional way is that we are to reserve that  (sexual) part of our lives for someone that we will, hopefully, live a full life with. Instead of being with "Joe-of-the-moment", we are holding out for "Prince Charming" or "Princess Charming". 

The thought that was presented from this child that I taught that sex is not good until you are married. NOT TRUE! I wasn't married until the ripe age of 23 years old, so I get the "wantin" and the lustin'" of the smexy boy of the minute. I know what I said to my babies as the application of that attitude was applied to my own life. The honeymoon, for me, was sort of shock! I actually called my mama asking if I actually "had to do it?!" Realizing that I had PUT on my own expectations of what is named "virtue" is and deciding for myself that I was taught the same thing, I was a little shell shocked, I aimed to teach the Littlies a bit different based on my own experience. (P.S. my mom was a nurse and educated me correctly, I just imposed my own thoughts on her. Circle of life.)

I told them that sex is good! It is wonderful and when you are in your teens and wanting that sort of physical intimacy, it can be somewhat like Playboy meets the Notebook. IT is the fall-out afterward that the consequences come,. Female humans start connecting an emotional attachment immediately. It looks different for every girl depending on her age and maturity and really their honesty with themselves. But we are emotional creatures and attachments are important.  Yet, the male species looks at it as a physical outlet. It is a physical release from all that goes into being 16 years old, etc! Lol.  (You get the picture.) Women are Gatherers and Men are Hunters. Our emotions mirror those labels.  Hey, don't fight the science. I am not here to argue just to share my journey.

Looking back over life, I am very glad that by the skin of my teeth I have only been with Prince Charming. I look at all the things we have shared together. We bought our first house together, had pursued education and jobs supporting one another, went through terrible things that broke us and scathed us for life  Shared moments that make life worth it all. We have rebuilt ourselves over and over and over again all the while supporting each other. We have said goodbye to Fathers and welcomed into the world glorious offspring. We have shared our stories of the past and partnered in the present day. We go outside of ourselves to change to fit the need of our mate. We know each other's physical bodies from head to toe and very scent of each other. We change our communication to enhance our partnership. We have inside jokes that no one else gets. We often know each other thoughts before a word comes out of our mouth. I know that a "Payday" candy bar will make his day and a project marked off the list will make mine. We live to help each other. We enjoy drives in the country and sitting in front of the television watching a shared show that we can finally agree on. We get to the end goal by WAY DIFFERENT means but we still get there happy to be with one another. It is that chunk of life span that brings us really, the bulk of what is meaningful to us. The significance of our later lives is even that much more when we can add that he/she was the only one we shared our sexual life with is just plain nice. 

The world is trying to eradicate tradition. They are long-standing traditions for a reason. The RUB is that we all have free agency to make those choices.....and to live with the consequences. Call me OLD SCHOOL but the more we become what some mislabel as "progressive" the better old school looks.

Go and do and don't get ya'all  feelings hurt over this. Life is life is life.  Can't undo the past but can fix the future. Until tomorrow.